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Police Officer Test
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28 Mar 2014 16:35 #110459
by Halford
Police Officer Test was created by Halford
How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish (Glaswegian) police officer? :blink:
QUESTION:
You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?
ANSWER:
British Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away ?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?
Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Scottish / Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"
QUESTION:
You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?
ANSWER:
British Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away ?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?

9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Scottish / Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"
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- Keefe
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28 Mar 2014 17:17 #110465
by Keefe
Replied by Keefe on topic Police Officer Test
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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- little jimny
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28 Mar 2014 20:54 #110499
by little jimny
Replied by little jimny on topic Police Officer Test
Brilliant!!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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- deedar
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28 Mar 2014 22:41 #110507
by deedar
Replied by deedar on topic Police Officer Test
Quality
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03 Apr 2014 15:54 #111149
by kirkynut
The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win - Edgar Watson Howe.
My Jimny Thread Here: www.bigjimny.com/index.php/forum/8-my-ji...on-continues?start=0
Replied by kirkynut on topic Police Officer Test
Soooo true!
Kirkynut
Kirkynut
The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win - Edgar Watson Howe.
My Jimny Thread Here: www.bigjimny.com/index.php/forum/8-my-ji...on-continues?start=0
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- darthloachie
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06 Apr 2014 20:38 #111483
by darthloachie
Replied by darthloachie on topic Police Officer Test
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
english officer reaction............................................only whilst they are on Police Interceptors
english officer reaction............................................only whilst they are on Police Interceptors

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