Thanks to Keefe for his contribution while I was stuck at the Sudanese Embassy yesterday. Such fun.
Anyway, the following says it all really. I don't really hold with all of the authors comments, but it is amusing and it certainly does get hot here in Dubai (35C in the shade today - and it hasn't started yet!).
Diary of a Dubai Summer (by a British Ex-pat)
April 31st:
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Dubai, UAE! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
June 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f#cking hair dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
August 4th:
It's 45 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost 2,000 Dirhams and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid f#cking place.
August 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f#cking throttle him. F#cking heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f#cking arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my fucking arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f#cking recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and f#cking sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f#cking place? Water rationing will be next, so my 5,000 Dirhams worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the f#cking pool.
Even the palms can't live in this f#cking heat.
August 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 48 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the stupid f#cking b@stard. F#ck Dubai! What kind of a sick demented f#cking idiot would want to live in this sh*t hole?
August 15th:
F#ck this place I’m off back to the UK
